Saturday, March 14, 2015

My Mom One Year Later

The day before she died, my Mom seemed fine.  Tired, yes, but her spirits were high.  When I left her she smiled like she always did and I looked back one last time.  Another thing I made a habit of doing.  But inside she wasn't the same prideful German Mom that we all knew.

Some deaths are not like the ones you see in the movies.  Not everybody is there for the last breath of a loved one.  The thing about parents is that they were always there for you.  Mine were.  If I needed something or just some good old parental advice, they were just 5 minutes away.  Or a quick call.  Then one day you realize they aren't there anymore.  It's been 7 years since my Dad died.
And today it's been 1 year since my Mom passed.  Little things you will miss when your parents die.  My Dad and I talked about sports or what was happening in the world at least twice a week.  My Mom and I always had a Sunday lunch date.  In the last years of her life I don't think we missed more than a couple of those.

So, I miss and regret things about my life with my parents.  But their absence has made me love them even more.  Too many memories will tear your psyche apart, so you have to move on.  But I'm holding on to a few memories.  My parents weren't the overly sentimental type.  I only hope they are looking down and smiling at the legacy they left behind.  It was greater than they knew.  
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